Wed. Spotlight: First a caregiver, then a patient

Jacqueline Marcell is the author of Elder Rage. For more information visit elderrage.com

Several years ago, I was so compelled by the heart-wrenching experience of being the sole caregiver to my aging parents that I gave up my career as a television executive to become an advocate for elder-care awareness and reform.

It took awhile to figure things all out medically and behaviorally because both my challenging elderly father and sweet but ailing mother suffered early Alzheimer's disease that was not diagnosed properly for more than a year.

For four years, I oversaw every detail of my parents' lives: their wonderful live-in caregivers, Ariana and her mother, and their daily adult day-care, numerous doctors and therapists, and constantly changing medications.

Ariana had completed only one year of high school, so I mentored her daily so she was able to get her high-school diploma.

After 60 years of loving each other, my parents passed away just a few months apart. After coordinating two funerals, sorting their life-long belongings, remodeling and selling their home, I was coming to grips with the grief and ready to start my own life again.

Then my doctor called: that suspicious lump we thought was a cyst turned out to be invasive breast cancer.

Over the next two years I endured horrible pain, hemorrhaging twice, nine days in the hospital and a blood transfusion along with six months of dense-dose chemotherapy, 33 radiation treatments and six surgeries. But I was committed to figuring out a way to turn yet another horrendous experience into something positive.

I began to take my experiences public – writing a book, making television and radio appearances, advocating as a caregiver and a cancer survivor. Now, as a public speaker, my talks include the importance of taking care of one's own health, especially during times of crisis, and how to embrace gratitude and humour to remain positive and able to overcome life's challenges.

I pull off my wig to prove the point.

It's very rewarding to receive so many thank-you emails from people who say I helped them, and from women who say I saved their lives because their cancer was found earlier because of me.

Now I am thrilled to simply wake up each day.

I have stopped worrying about the small stuff and am grateful to be able to continue my missions:

• help improve our elder-care laws;

• enlighten health-care professionals how to better help the families they work with;

• provide solutions and hope to families;

• encourage funding for Alzheimer's and breast-cancer research and heighten awareness of early diagnosis;

• expose elder abuse and exploitation;

• encourage long-term-care insurance and planning, and

• bring attention to the need for funding of adult day-care services, which saved my parents’ lives as well as my own.

I find it interesting that my life's most harrowing experiences have led me to a far greater fulfillment than I could have imagined.

Now I end my keynote speeches with:

“When life takes you to your knees and nearly destroys you, focus on finding the silver lining and how you can help others from going down a similar path. You may just find the meaning of your life, and discover your greatest passion, purpose and reward.”

Jacqueline Marcell  is the author of Elder Rage. For more information visit elderrage.com.

Caregiving resources online

ableliving.org

acclaimhealth.ca

alzhh.ca

bayshore.ca

hamilton_ontario.comforcare.ca

gemhealthcare.com

halton.ca

homeinstead.ca

homewatchcaregivers.com

homewellseniorcare.ca

links2care.ca

von.ca

seniorhomecarebyangels.com

seniorserviceshamilton.com

stjosephshomecare.ca

tlchealth.ca

wecare.ca